jen,i would try and talk to your daughter and see y she is doing this..has she done this before in the past... if u want any help please feel free to ask me

yha i woul put her back in daipers ans see if that helps...maybe she is wanting some attention as well i know that becuse my youngest sister did that to my mom...

i understand what your saying but it might be the best thing for her....

thanks for the suggestions everyone. i dont know what to do this is so stressful for me. I cant have it continue but I certainly don't want to make things worse

I know it doesn't seem like a good idea but I would certainly put her back in diapers for at least a little while and explain to her why she is going back into them and why she'll wear them and how she can get out of them. Talk to her and explain it's not for punishment but for her own good and that once she starts maintaining some control then she'll be allowed out of them. I've had to this with both my daughters from time to time. I would't let her use the answer " I dunno' " to you. Tell her thats an unacceptable answer and until she has a real reason behind it then she'll have to wear diapers. with your youngest one, talk to her too and tell her that whatever her older sister does is not acceptable for her. Tell her that following her older sister is not something she should be doing and that they are two different people and that she can do better than that. I understand the rebelliousness in the 10 year old, mine is 10 also but giving in to her will make the whole situation that much more worse in the long run. Take away her panties and tell her that she'll have to "Earn" them back if she wants to wear them again anytime soon. I would even make her do it, have her box them up and put them in a place so she'll understand she won't be able to get to them or away from her room such as the attic or storage space so it will drive home the point that she's losing a priviliage, not a right. Don't do it in a harsh way but calmly and casually and act as though it's not a problem for you to treat her in that manner until she grows up more and realizes her problem and corrects herself. Seeing how she'll react to that will dictact your next step. This is where "tough love" and discipline will probably work best.
If you'd like to email personally, my email is hoagjulie@yahoo.com. I wish you the best of luck and hope the situation clears up soon enough.

Take care and best wishes,
Julie Hoag

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Julie Hoag

Jen, another thought for you is something that only you (the one being there) is likely to sense, and that's the possibility of something traumatic happehing prior to the start of this, either physical, or more likely psychological. Perhaps sitting down with her again and trying again to talk to her might "bear some fruit". The doctor may be correct on what's happening, or it could be that she's avoiding an answer because she's afraid of something, reprisal from you, or someone else. I sounded really harsh about this before, but I meant it to be more a thing of being direct about it. Just do the best you can to not get upset, or angry about it, and set clear boundaries. Perhaps until the point where she stays clean and dry, take away her underwear so that she has none to change into. She's too old for time outs at this point so there has to be some other type of consequence. Take away tv privilages, her Ipod, other things that mean a lot to her. Give her an out. Tell her that if she comes to you and will honestly discuss what's happening that you'll work with her. Let her know that if this is a way of expressing defiance, that it's totally unacceptable. This is just like kids teasing each other, you have to stand your ground to a certain point, and you have to do it in a calm manner. If you react with emotion, she'll know that she's got you. I would suggest that if this is only happening at home when others are not around, that it's a clear indication that your doctor is correct. Hang tough.

have you made any progress with her?